difficult conversations
5 statements across 1 episodes · 2 bullish · 0 bearish · 1 people on the record · first statement May 15, 2019 by Sheila Heen · across every show →
Everything said about difficult conversations, oldest first
May 15, 2019
Heen: Difficult conversations are driven by perceived threats to personal identity
“If a conversation feels difficult, there's often something about identity, something the situation suggests about you that raises the stakes on the whole conversation. And so that's part of the anxiety that then drives the intensity of the feelings.”
May 15, 2019
May 15, 2019 positive
May 15, 2019 positive
Heen: Difficult conversations are more fruitful when aimed at understanding, not persuasion
“If I shift my purpose in the conversation from getting them to change, or getting them to apologize, see that I'm right, whatever, to Just understanding better what's going on. Like, why is it that we have such a hard time with this? That conversation is much …”
May 15, 2019
Heen: The identity traits people value most dictate their hardest conversations
“Whatever those sort of characteristics that you hold most tightly are, they are sometimes also a key to the kinds of conversations that are hardest for you. Because you let yourself down and you're disappointed in yourself.”