Bernstein: Boundaries set without internal self-attunement are merely rage
Gabrielle Bernstein · Stop Spiraling: The 4-Step Check-In That Resets Your Mind | Gabby Bernstein · Jan 22, 2026 · at 38:54
Author Gabrielle Bernstein explains to Codie Sanchez how Internal Family Systems (IFS) self-awareness is necessary to establish genuine boundaries rather than defensive reactions.
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“We can't actually create those boundaries until we Befriend the parts. Because otherwise, if we're just sort of like, if we're not tending to what's happening inside, and we're just putting up boundaries, they're fake. They're, you know, you leave me alone. I'm not gonna do that. It's like knives out boundaries. But it's not really a boundary. It's just rage.”
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