Johnson: Time cannot heal relationship injuries because brains retain survival data
Dr. Sue Johnson · The Science of Lasting Love with Dr. Sue Johnson · Aug 19, 2025 · at 1:14:35
Dr. Sue Johnson, clinical psychologist and developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), discusses why emotional betrayals and unaddressed partner abandonment persist over time.
0:00 / 0:13exact quote · 13.6s
720p mp4 · rendered on demand · StarZero watermark
“People think, people say things like time will heal that it will not. Your brain holds onto it. It's significant survival information. When you needed, your partner wasn't there. They're no longer safe. You can't count on them.”
quote is from the automated transcript, cleaned for reading: filler sounds and stutters are removed, nothing is rephrased. names can be misheard (the analysis reads context, assessments check outside sources). how →
More from Dr. Sue Johnson
Johnson: Biology rejects polyamory trends because human love is neurologically hardwired
“The New York Times writes articles about how Oh, romantic, love is changing, and, you know, we're all going to be polyamorous, or we're going to have hookups until we're 60, and it's all going to be great, and, you know, there's going to be lots of freedom, an…”
Johnson: 70% of therapists treating couples lack actual couples therapy training
“Because the fact of the matter is, 70% of mental health professionals in North America say they seek Couples now, because the demand is huge, and most of those people have not been trained in couples therapy.”
Johnson: Romantic attachment is structured by biology, not social convention
“These things are not social conventions. They're not made up. You know, the New York Times writes articles about how Oh, romantic. Love is changing, and, you know, we're all going to be polyamorous, or we're going to have hookups until we're 60, and it's all g…”
Dr. Sue Johnson: Pursuit of Sexual Novelty Stems From Emotional Numbness
“You need novelty when you're numbed out and shut down, and you need more and more novel sensation to have you get turned on. That's the way I see it. Novelty is about how we've numbed out our sexuality. Not how, no, it's not about freedom.”
Johnson: 70% of North American therapists see couples without specialized training
“The fact of the matter is, 70% of mental health professionals in North America Say they see couples now, because the demand is huge, and most of those people have not been trained in couples therapy.”
Johnson: Teaching couples to 'fight fair' is irrelevant rubbish
“Therapists focus on conflict, teach you how to fight. Fair, and fighting fair is rubbish, ok? It's like, It's irrelevant. It's, you know, it's, so, you know and we don't look at what's going on underneath, which is lack of emotional connection.”