Insight certainty 4/5 debate potential 2/5

Heen: Shifting to joint contribution does not mean fault is fifty-fifty

Sheila Heen · #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations · May 15, 2019 · at 35:10

Harvard Law negotiation lecturer Sheila Heen explains how assessing joint contribution in conflict resolution differs from assigning equal fault or placing blame.

0:00 / 0:10exact quote · 10.7s
720p mp4 · rendered on demand · StarZero watermark
“When we shift from blame to joint contribution, it doesn't mean it's fifty-fifty. It just means that there were choices we each made that got us here, and figuring out what those were tells us what to change and to fix.”

quote is from the automated transcript, cleaned for reading: filler sounds and stutters are removed, nothing is rephrased. names can be misheard (the analysis reads context, assessments check outside sources). how →

More from Sheila Heen

Insight
Heen: The Optimal Positive-to-Negative Interaction Ratio in Relationships Is 5:1
“The optimum is, what is it, five to one? Five to one, positive interactions to negative interactions, and it's not better to have a bigger ratio of positive and negative, like 10 to one is not better because of what you're describing. If it's 10 positive inter…”
Sheila Heen May 15, 2019 ▶ 1:22:55 #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
Insight
Heen: Purely objective decision-making does not exist
“Objective decision-making does not exist, actually, and that feelings are actually really important information, right?”
Sheila Heen May 15, 2019 ▶ 44:24 #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
Insight
Heen: Two-Thirds of Marital Conflicts Are Perpetual and Unsolvable Differences
“About two-thirds of what you fight about are not solvable. They just reflect differences between you.”
Sheila Heen May 15, 2019 ▶ 1:15:34 #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
Insight
Heen: Negative Responses in Relationships Are Better Than Total Non-Responses
“The other thing I find interesting is a negative response is actually better than no response.”
Sheila Heen May 15, 2019 ▶ 1:23:37 #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
Insight
Heen: Teaching is fundamentally a negotiation for engagement and risk-taking
“Teaching itself is a negotiation. You are negotiating for people's engagement and willingness to take risks and to admit mistakes and to see what they have to learn”
Sheila Heen May 15, 2019 ▶ 4:25 #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
Insight
Heen: Early negotiation habits deepen strengths without broadening adult skill sets
“All of us have been negotiating since we were kids, so everybody's an experienced negotiator, but you're not necessarily a good negotiator because you'll tend to just repeat the strategies that are successful for you, even into adulthood, right? And so your st…”
Sheila Heen May 15, 2019 ▶ 13:33 #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
Made with StarZero

Turn any episode into a week of clips.

This entire site, over 200 episodes transcribed, diarized, checked and made playable, runs on the StarZero media pipeline. Drop in your own episode and the podcast clipper finds the moments worth sharing, cuts them, captions them, and reframes them for every feed.