Harvard Law School negotiation lecturer Sheila Heen discusses John Gottman's research on micro-interactions and marital longevity.
0:00 / 0:20exact quote · 20.4s
720p mp4 · rendered on demand · StarZero watermark
“The optimum is, what is it, five to one? Five to one, positive interactions to negative interactions, and it's not better to have a bigger ratio of positive and negative, like 10 to one is not better because of what you're describing. If it's 10 positive interactions or 50 positive interactions before any negative one, typically one of the partners is holding back.”
quote is from the automated transcript, cleaned for reading:
filler sounds and stutters are removed, nothing is rephrased. names can be misheard
(the analysis reads context, assessments check outside sources). how →
More from Sheila Heen
Insight
Heen: Purely objective decision-making does not exist
“Objective decision-making does not exist, actually, and that feelings are actually really important information, right?”
Heen: Teaching is fundamentally a negotiation for engagement and risk-taking
“Teaching itself is a negotiation. You are negotiating for people's engagement and willingness to take risks and to admit mistakes and to see what they have to learn”
Heen: Early negotiation habits deepen strengths without broadening adult skill sets
“All of us have been negotiating since we were kids, so everybody's an experienced negotiator, but you're not necessarily a good negotiator because you'll tend to just repeat the strategies that are successful for you, even into adulthood, right? And so your st…”
Heen: Listening is a more persuasive negotiation strategy than talking
“And we assume that persuasion is about talking. When actually the most persuasive strategy that you can take is a listening strategy for a couple of reasons.”
This entire site, over 200 episodes transcribed, diarized, checked and made playable,
runs on the StarZero media pipeline. Drop in your own episode and the podcast clipper finds the
moments worth sharing, cuts them, captions them, and reframes them for every feed.
We use essential cookies to make the site work. With your permission we
also use analytics cookies (Google Analytics and Mixpanel) to understand
usage and improve StarZero. See our Cookie Policy.