Dr. Laura Markham
person on 1 show · 16 statements across 1 episodes
On the record as a speaker too: Dr. Laura Markham across every show, appearances and statements → this page counts the times other people say the name.
16 statements about Dr. Laura Markham, every show
Markham: Needing an alarm clock means your child is sleep-deprived
“The most important indicator is do they wake up on their own without an alarm clock and without you waking them up? If they don't, they're not getting enough sleep.”
Markham: Pre-bath roughhousing reduces child tension and aids sleep
“If you get them laughing, it reduces their tension. They fall asleep more easily. You know, it changes the body chemistry, but you wouldn't want to do it after the bath because then they get riled up. So you have to do it before the bath.”
Markham: Fostering child accountability requires replacing blame with a solutions-oriented culture
“It is never about blame, and if you want children to take responsibility, it's a good idea to
Create a household that is no blame.
You could call it a solutions, not blame.
We're a family that looks for solutions, not blame.
So I would start there as a premise…”
Markham: Parents should not remind eight- or nine-year-olds to pack their lunch
“You should not be by the time they're eight or nine years old,
Reminding them to get their lunch.
This should be something certainly an eight or nine year old can remember their lunch and it's their job.”
Markham: Unresolved parental conflict erodes children's emotional trust
“So the parent-child relationship is eroded a little bit because the child sees that parent is not completely emotionally trustworthy. This parent is capable of attacking the other parent, or this parent lets themselves be attacked. And doesn't stand up for the…”
Markham: Parents should actively resolve their conflicts in front of children
“When kids do see conflict, that's fine. They don't think you don't have to have a home where they never see any conflict, but then you want to work out the conflict in front of them.”
Markham: Raised adult voices spike blood pressure in sleeping babies
“One thing we know is that when there are raised voices, children's blood pressure and adrenaline shoot up. And that's true of babies also, even if they're nonverbal, shoots up and includes babies who are asleep.”
Markham: Gottman Research Shows Most Parents React Destructively to Kids' Emotions
“Gottman's huge finding was that parents tend to react to kids' emotions in not very constructive ways.”
Markham: Yelling stops behavior only temporarily through fear
“If we just yell, no, don't do that. He might stop because he's afraid. But then the minute our back is turned, he's going to be back to his old behavior, right? Because he has no motivation to go along with us.”
Markham: Using bribes and rewards treats children as objects to manipulate
“Some parents don't want to be that parent, so they instead use bribes. They use rewards, you know, and all of that presupposes that our child is an object to be manipulated or at least somebody who doesn't have much brain power, right?”
Markham: Children never perceive spanking or physical punishment as loving
“No child is going to perceive that as loving, you know, but because you're hurting their body.”
Markham: Children up to age 16 cannot make all their own decisions
“No two year old is ready to make all her own decisions and no 12 year old or even I would argue 15 year old or 16 year old is ready to make all of her own decisions.”
Markham: Telling angry children they are angry increases emotional distance
“Common trope in parenting, name it to tame it, that is applied to children. When your child is angry, if you tell your child they're angry, they'll be less angry. I find that's A, not true. Most parents will tell you it's not true. If you say to your child, yo…”
Dr. Laura Markham: Emotional labeling gives adults more control over reactions
“There is research that shows that when adults label what they're feeling, it gives them more control over the emotion they have.”
Markham: Parental self-regulation may have more impact on children than anything else
“So our ability to self-regulate might be the most, might have the most impact on who our child turns out to be than anything else we do.”
Markham: Who parents are matters more to child development than strategies
“That what matters most in how kids turn out is who we are as parents. It's not a set of strategies, right? It's a relationship, and every relationship comes from two people having that relationship, and in our case, we're the guidance.”