The Exchanges

Q What do you take away from this? What are the learning lessons so that we can only be the ring founder after he became a billionaire, not during Shark Tank?

A Yes. Ok, so here's a big mistake that people make when they're pitching. Pitching on stage, pitching on a video call, pitching to an investor, is they prep their pitch and not their first impression. But people decide how smart you are, how trustworthy you are, and if they're gonna like your idea when they first see you. That is even before your opening line, and so what I learned in that was that his first impression was one of the worst first impressions I've ever seen. So what he did, is he was trying to be clever, is he came in and he knocked on the door of the Shark Tank. And they said, who's there? And he said, it's Jamie, here to pitch an idea. And he asked his own name. In that moment, I think he lost the deal. The reason for this is because an accidental question inflection, when you accidentally ask your name, or your number, or your statement, people question you. And so I think in his opening line, and this is a mistake people make all the time is they ask their name or they ask their number and you're begging people to negotiate with you and do tons of sales trainings, right? And here's what I hear all the time. We'd love to have your business. We'd love to work with you. And the price of that will be 5000 dollars. You ask your number. You're telling people, I don't really believe this number and neither should you. Those people have the lowest close, lowest, lowes…

AI assessment note: “what I learned in that was that his first impression was one of the worst”

Q doing it in a world with the lowest trust levels since before the age of the internet, um, it's necessary, so it's smart. Now, I want to talk a little bit about, um, Like, I think a lot of times in first interactions, we're scared. We're scared to pitch. We're scared for an interview. We're scared to sell. Can you hide fear? Does it matter? Can other people feel that?

A You're not going to like this answer very much, but our emotions are contagious, and so if you're afraid, people will pick up on it. So there's a study that changed the way that I think about this, which is they brought people into their lab, And they sold them up to two different groups. One group, they wore sweat suits and ran on a treadmill. So they, they got sweat into this suit and they collected the sweat. Second group, they said, you're gonna skydive for the first time. Put them in sweat suits and push them out of a plane. They took the two samples of sweat. This is where it gets kind of gross. They asked unsuspecting participants to smell Both of the sweat. They had no idea what they were smelling in an fMRI machine. Everyone who smelled the fear sweat, the skydiving sweat, caught the fear. They had no idea what they were smelling, but their amygdala lit up where they were afraid. What this shows us is that when you are afraid, you are sending off all kinds of signals that you don't even realize. Not only your face, not only your voice, but also even your chemical physiology. And so this is why I think it's really critically important for my introverted entrepreneurs, my introverted business owners, Is you got to get yourself right before you walk into a room and you got to know your stuff, right? Like no one can fake warmth and competence. We can, I can give you the cu…

AI assessment note: “our emotions are contagious, and so if you're afraid, people will pick up on it.”

Q make sure that I get every single human only what they need when they need it to become an owner. You might like this. Hit the link in the description below, and we will sort you to figure out what kind of business buyer are you. So let's say you are hiring and you want to figure out if somebody's lying to you or not. How do you do that?

A Okay, my favorite topic. So I love lie detection research. In fact, we've done a lot of research in our lab on, we've had people submit videos of themselves lying. We have a whole process for doing it, and then we analyze them for cues looking for patterns. And there is no Pinocchio's nose. There's no one cue that says someone's lying, but there are statistical cues to deceit. There are Cues that we saw over and over again in the lying answers. So here are a couple of those lie detection cues. So, um, the first most obvious one is, um, when something's incongruent. So someone says something, but their body shows another. So I'll give you a really good example. One of the challenges we have them do is two truths and a lie, where they say two truths about themselves and a lie. On the lie, so many people shook their head no.

AI assessment note: “the first most obvious one is, um, when something's incongruent.”

Q Like, is there a difference in men and women and what you need to do to be attractive and likable?

A Oh my goodness. Okay. So two, two questions here. So there is big differences between men and women, um, and that is because men and women send off inherently different cues and different signals. Typically not always women have higher voice tones, right? Typically not always women use the question inflection more and that's cultural, right? A lot of the times women have been taught be liked So they're, as parents, not always, but they're warmth, warmth, warmth. Whereas boys are taught get ahead, be respected. So they're often taught competence, competence, competence. So in the research, by the way, this is Dr. Susan Fisk's research from Princeton University. She found, she calls it the stereotype content model, which is that women, by default, are seen as higher in warmth and lower in competence. Men, by default, are seen as higher in competence and lower in warmth. Now I say, great to know. Like, I would rather know that. That is why I dial up my competence in my presentations. When I'm corporate speaking, the name of my business is Science of People, right? Like that is the most competent name that you could possibly have. Because I know I'm fighting a default that's higher and warmth, but I also use that to my advantage sometimes as well. So it's just important to know that default for you, and then you can purposely dial up as you wish. You know, You have a high, a higher…

AI assessment note: “there is big differences between men and women... men and women send off inherently different cues”

Q company, not just externally? So we talked about how to open up meetings, we talked about how to do pitches, but you and I obsess all day when we're talking about how do we build bigger companies and how do we sell internally? And I don't think a lot of people think about that. So what do bad leaders do or what mistakes do we make when we communicate internally?

A What people don't realize is that your internal marketing To your team is just as important as your external marketing. You've got to get your team on board on an idea and how you want, I think the mistake that you will make is they frame ideas or initiatives or phases as like vitamins as like, this is good for the team. So like a vitamin idea would be like, guys, our software is really out of date and we got to switch to that new LMS. We got to switch to that new, you know, CRM software. It's going to be good for the team. I know it's going to be painful, but we got to do it. What team member is going to be like, yeah, whoa. You as a business owner can do vitamin things for your business. You can do things that are good for the business that have long term, short term pain, but long term game. Your team members aren't thinking that way. You're lucky if they're thinking six months to a year at your company. So you want to try to emphasize what is the painkiller? Why is this going to help us immediately? That's going to help them get over that short term pain. So the difference between a vitamin painkiller, vitamin is like, this is good for us. It's going to be really, you know, we should do it. A painkiller is like, You know how you're having lower close rates because we lose contact cards? That problem will be gone next week. Literally gone. Now we're gonna have to set up some…

AI assessment note: “the mistake that you will make is they frame ideas or initiatives or phases as like vitamins”

Q What personality tests do you use for your team in order to tell who is what?

A Okay, so I highly recommend if you're gonna hire, do behavioral interviewing. So that's less like skill and strength based, and that's more behavior based. Um, and my favorite practice for hiring is doing alphabet work. So this is basically figuring out what is your A, B, C, D work, and what is their A, B, C, D work. Very simply, this is your A work is work that you are better at than most people. Like, what are you better at than most people? Where do you hit flow? What are you most productive in? A work. Tasks and communication. B work. B work is the trick. B work is what trips up my smart people. B work you're pretty good at. But you're not great at it. You're not better than everyone at it, and you can get away with it, but you kind of dread it. C work, you're average. You do it just like everyone else. It kind of clunky. It kind of takes you a while, and you can get by. D work is work you are terrible at. You're worse than most people, and it's going to look terrible. The mistake that people make when they hire is they hire people who have their A work, and then they hire the person, and then you both want the A work. You are better off hiring someone who is opposite to you. Their D work is your A work, your A work is their D work, or if you really, really want to be efficient, hire someone who's, you could give away your B work to. B work, I think, slows most people down.…

AI assessment note: “I highly recommend if you're gonna hire, do behavioral interviewing.”