The Exchanges

Q So you don't like do gratitude or manifestations or tell yourself that, you know, there's nothing wrong with you, that you're strong, that you're capable, that you're lovely, that whatever, like you don't do those, or do you do those things with yourself ever?

A No, no. I mean, the tools that I use are primarily all from Access Consciousness because they're, they're empowering in the sense that they're mostly based on question. Um, because the thing is we live in a world where everybody's giving us their answer. Tell yourself this, and then you're going to do it. Tell yourself, do this answer, you know, this is the way to do it. But how empowering is that? It's not at all because it's that other person's answer. So, um, I mean, I try to do, um, a lot of affirmations and stuff, but when you're doing an affirmation, How often are you trying to convince yourself of something that you've already decided you're not? And that makes it very difficult to come out of. You know, it's like, if I've got to tell myself I'm lovely somewhere, I've decided I'm not lovely. Otherwise, why would I, I'm not sitting here going, I'm a rabbit because it's just not relevant, you know? And so it can work very well for some people, but if it, if it's not something that is really working dynamically, the moment you start using it as a tool, then find another tool, you know, things that I do do is I, I do actually, um, ask like, what am I grateful for? But I don't do it. Like I've got to do a journal every day. I do it in a way. That if I'm having a moment during my day where I'm, you know, not having a lot of ease, I will ask myself, okay, so what am I grateful …

AI assessment note: “No, no. I mean, the tools that I use are primarily all from Access Consciousness”

Q So what is a way that someone can try to accept themselves first? Because I guess it doesn't make sense to try to relate to others if you don't understand yourself first.

A Um, I'd say the, the thing that I come across the most with people that I work with, um, regardless of whether they're professionals, entrepreneurs, kids is this topic of self judgment and self criticism. It, it seems to be the one, um, kind of biggest stopping point for you to have ease in anything. So if there's an area where you are judging yourself and you know, we don't often know that we're judging ourselves because we've just decided that it's a fact, like I'm just terrible at this, or I'm just really bad at this, or I just always fail in these situations or people just find me very annoying. That's it. It's a fact I'm annoying, you know, but when you look at that, how much of that is actually a judgment that you have a view that you're wrong, that you're not fitting in, that, um, there's something that needs to be fixed. That you should be doing something better. All of that, that the basis of that is judgment. And the incredible thing about judgment is that it's powerful. It's powerful. So when you start judging something, you're basically sticking that thought or that feeling with glue to yourself. You're going, that's it. I'm holding onto this. I'm putting all my attention and energy on this. So the main thing that I would say is start to notice the areas where you are just 100% convinced that you are wrong or messed up, because I can assure you that's probably going…

AI assessment note: “start to notice the areas where you are just 100% convinced that you are wrong”

Q no commitment, it's free to do. And if you don't like what we're doing later on, you can always unsubscribe. And either way, we would love a like if you don't feel like subscribing at this time. Thank you very much, and we'll take you back to the show now. What's something that you criticize yourself about that you wish you didn't, but you feel stuck in a loop about?

A I would say I have been an insufferable perfectionist since I remember really like just insufferable. Um, and You know, for the longest time, I really would go into a lot of self judgment and, uh, self doubt about my own abilities. If what I was delivering or doing or saying, or the way I was presenting myself, wasn't the, you know, to the utmost level of perfection, which of course doesn't exist because it's all a perspective, right? Then what I recognized was I had to really take a look at that For myself. Cause I was quite honestly, just torturing myself the whole time working way too much. Um, just, just really not enjoying living and just. Probably quite enjoying being hard on myself. Cause it was something that I knew it was something that I had control over. So what I had to recognize was, do I want to continue to live this way, which is. Quite an interesting conversation to have with yourself. You know, it requires some brutal honesty with yourself, a bit of vulnerability sprinkled in, but, um, looking at that and recognizing, okay, so if I don't want to live this way anymore, then like, what is this really? If I'm able to see details, um, and know how something could be. Is it possible that there is actually a capacity here? And what I recognized was that I was able to see a level of detail that most people aren't able to see in, you know, if we're talking about busine…

AI assessment note: “I have been an insufferable perfectionist since I remember really like just insufferable.”

Q find the same way I'm colorblind as well. So when someone's like, oh, it's this color or like, oh, it's, it's the green one. I'm like, which one's the green one? And they're like, what are you talking about? It's like that one. I'm like, how am I supposed to know? It's that's the green one, you know? Um, So I don't know if that's a similar thing you've encountered.

A Yeah, I think so. And I think, you know, like one of the, the really interesting things that I find as well is that there is a difference in talking to somebody who's neurodivergent or even an entrepreneur, as you're saying, um, from a kind of like theoretical point of view, and then From the point of view where you have actually experienced things and you are the person that's living it as well. And I know that that's very obvious to say, but the more that you kind of, um, discover these different abilities that you have from being neurodiverse, um, to me, it's made it so much easier to be able to actually, um, relate to the people that I'm working with, relate to these entrepreneurs and also have it, have it so that for them, it's so much easier to understand That the rest of the world is different to them. It's not just that they're different from everyone else. You know, everyone else thinks in a different way to them as well.

AI assessment note: “Yeah, I think so. And I think, you know, like one of the, the really interesting things”

Q So if I were to ask myself that question, it would go something like this. How can I use panic attacks to my advantage? And I haven't figured that out yet. So I would love to know if you have any, uh, words of wisdom because I, I'm trying.

A So I would, and I love that you brought this up. Thank you so much. Cause I would, I would kind of take one step back from that because the panic attack is actually the symptom. It's not the cause. So when you look at, at it, this question was really designed. What it's designed to do is to really get you to look at what's underneath all of this. Okay. So for me, the perfectionism was like the symptom, the self doubt, the judgment, why am I not perfect? You know, that was like the symptom of something else that was going on before that something else happened first that then led to the perfectionism. So what I would ask you is what are you actually aware of before the panic attack? What are you aware of before the panic attack? For a lot of people who are neurodivergent. Yeah.

AI assessment note: “I would kind of take one step back from that because the panic attack is actually the symptom.”