The Ledger
Every statement that passed quotation and attribution checks. Mix any filter with any other: certainty 1/5, debate potential 5/5, or both at once.
why aren't all 28 resolved? a statement only gets an assessment when the public record can support or contradict it. opinions and what-ifs never can, and 0 checkable ones are still open, waiting for their date. predictions held up or didn't; assertions are supported or contradicted. on every card: ▮▮▮▮▮ certainty · ▮▮▮▮▮ debate potential. speakers are clickable
Coloroso: Praise-Dependent Children Become Henchmen for Bullies
“Praise dependent, reward dependent children make wonderful henchmen for bullies. They will do the bullies bidding because they want whatever reward that bully is dangling in front of them.”
Coloroso: Violent games wire brain pathways connecting violence to pleasure
“It also does something that neurologists have found out, and neuroscience, it creates neural pathways that connect violence with pleasure and rewards, rather than sadness and sympathy and fright.”
Coloroso: Nineteen US states still legally permit corporal punishment in schools
“We still have 19 states in this country that allow corporal punishment.”
Coloroso: Extrinsic Rewards and Punishments Impede Moral Development in Children
“Bribes and threats, rewards and punishments, which, by the way, have become an insidious part of our culture, really interferes with raising an ethical human being”
Coloroso: Demanding apologies is ineffective; children must actively fix their mistakes
“And another thing you can do is I never demand an apology. I can say, well, you can own what you did to the person you did it to because you ask for an apology. You get one of three kinds. Real heartfelt. Or I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They keep doing it …”
Coloroso: Bullies escalate when victims show they are hurt
“What does a bully do when they know that they have hurt another child? They keep going. They get more of, you know, aggressive when the other shows any hurt.”
Coloroso: Zero-tolerance school policies promote zero thinking
“That's what zero tolerance is all about. It's zero thinking.”
Coloroso: Timeouts must focus on calming down and repairing harm
“The purpose of time out is to calm down and to figure out how you're going to fix what you just did.”
Coloroso: Parents must mentor teenagers instead of being their friends
“You are their parent till they reach puberty, and then you become their mentor, their model, their guide. I really dislike it when people say, my teenager is my best friend. I say, get a life. You know, they need a mentor. They don't need a friend right now. N…”
Coloroso: Parents should know their early teenagers' passwords
“I believe through the early teen years, it's important that we know their passwords, that they trust us, and we trust them, but trust, and I use Ronald Reagan's comment, trust, but verify.”
Coloroso: Ignore child behaviors unless dangerous, immoral, or unhealthy
“I've always said if it's not life threatening, morally threatening or unhealthy, let it go.”
Coloroso: Mayhem and bullying require restitution, resolution, and reconciliation
“If it's mayhem, we do three R's. It's called restorative practices. Restitution, resolution, and reconciliation.”
Coloroso: Study shows sibling bullying increases risk of depression and substance abuse
“There's a fascinating research project done by Volpe out of England, a 20 year longitudinal study that showed that children who are targeted by their siblings are at higher risk for being targeted by their peers, higher risk for alcohol and drug abuse for self…”
Coloroso: Bullying is deliberate harm driven by pleasure from another's pain
“The smirk is an involuntary response when you're hurting someone and getting pleasure from their pain.
And that's what bullying is about.
A conscious, willful, deliberate activity intended to harm where you get pleasure from somebody else's pain.”
Coloroso: When confronting bullies, label the deed not the kid
“Stand strong, and in an assertive voice, be able to say, that was mean, that was cruel. Not you're mean, you're cruel. Call the deed, not the kid.”
Coloroso: Discipline is collaborative while punishment breeds fear and resentment
“Discipline is not something we do to a child. It's something we do with a child. Punishment's adult-oriented. It is imposed from without. It arouses resentment and teaches kids to respond out of fear or fight back or flee.”
Coloroso: Praise is judgmental, whereas encouragement can occur anytime
“Praise can only occur at the end of a deed done the way you want it done. It's highly judgmental. Encouragement can occur anytime.”
Coloroso: Compliments should highlight the specific deed's impact, not the child
“You stroke the deed, not the kid. Be very specific to the deed, and let the child know what his or her behavior did for the dog, a plant, or another human being.”
Coloroso: Impulsive kids make phenomenal lifeguards and EMTs, not brain surgeons
“Kids who are impulsive make phenomenal, I mean this very seriously, phenomenal lifeguards. They make wonderful EMTs and paramedics, lousy brain surgeons, but I don't need a brain surgeon in the back of an ambulance. I need somebody who uses their impulse quick…”
Coloroso: Curfews should tie to event finish times, not fixed hours
“A backbone says a half hour after the event's over. Or an hour after the event's over. Because an event may end at 10. But you say curfew at 12, well, they can get in trouble during that time.”
Coloroso: Overusing 'no' makes children ignore critical parental refusals
“We say no so often. That they don't take it seriously on that big one. Well, there's three alternatives to no. You start today. So when you need to say no, you say it, and mean it, and follow through with it.”
Coloroso: Online and offline worlds have merged into one reality for youth
“We used to talk about the real world and then the online world. Well, we can't use that language anymore. It's online, offline have merged to create the real world for our young people today.”
Coloroso: Teasing mirrors flirting, while taunting parallels sexual bullying
“So if we teach them that, then by fourth grade, we can start talking to kids about the difference between flirting, which is normal, natural, necessary to keep the human race going, and sexual bullying, which is none of those. Because the checklist for teasing…”
Coloroso: Handling mistakes requires owning, fixing, learning, and moving on
“With a mistake, you own it, you fix it, you learn from it, and you move on.”
Coloroso: Tattling gets people into trouble, while telling gets them out
“Tattling is getting somebody in trouble. Telling is getting somebody out of trouble.”
Coloroso: Abused children who thrive usually had one caring adult
“Alice Miller, the psychiatrist did a study of kids who had been horribly abused, and found that those who did thrive had one person in their life that cared about them, and very often it was an educator.”
Coloroso: Speech must pass three gates—truth, necessity, and kindness
“I used to use the old Sufi saying that our words must pass through three gates. First, is it true? Not kind of true, maybe true, half true, or rumor, but is it true? Is it necessary to say? Something may be true, but not necessary to say. And the last is, is i…”
Coloroso: Teasing is mutual laughter, while taunting is one-sided mockery
“Teasing is laughing with somebody. Taunting is laughing at somebody. So if we can start about age five, talking to kids about the difference between teasing, which is a mutual thing, it's lighthearted, clever, and benign, and it's, ah, only a small part of you…”