The Exchanges

Q And do we not even realize that? Like, do you think people don't even realize the things they're doing to turn off other people?

A I think so. If you think about it, it's like a very childish kind of tactic. Like, I think when we're young, it's, it's intuitive. It just feels intuitive of like, oh, I want people to like me. So let me just like agree with what everybody says. At some point that stops working and you kind of realize you're like, oh, I'd rather be disliked for who I am than liked for something I'm not. Right. Cause you just, you, you start feeling like, even if you do get somebody to like you, it feels icky and it's, uh, it doesn't feel like, like you're, you're being appreciated for who you authentically are. So, and I, and I think this, this takes place in a lot of, I mean, obviously this is like a social phenomenon, but people do this in dating. Um, you know, people do it w with coworkers, they do it in business. It's like, you know, all the ass kissing, the yes men, like it, it backfires eventually.

AI assessment note: “I think so. If you think about it, it's like a very childish”

Q What is sort of the right way to respond when somebody else is like coming at you in a boundary way, or when somebody else is trying to make you work outside of something that you feel comfortable with? How do you keep boundaries, uh, but not look like a dick?

A I, I think it's, I think tactically speaking, it's, it's always great to frame things like rules. Um, so, you know, for instance, if I, if I was like, um, Like, let's say your producer emailed me, and it was like, uh, you know, come in at whatever o'clock, and I was like, no, that's preposterous. I, like, I refuse. Like, then it creates this ugly situation, right? Whereas if I'm just like, hey, man, I have this rule. I don't do interviews after three p.m. Sorry. Maybe we can find another time. Like, when you, when you frame things as a rule, it's like, hey, this is just a rule I have in my life. I, I just don't do this thing, and it's just to take care of my own health and my own sanity or whatever. People respect it. Um, and then if they don't, it actually, it makes it very easy to be like, oh, well then, fuck them. Like, they're not respecting my rules, so this is just not gonna work out. Um, so I, I always encourage people, like, frame whatever boundaries you wanna have, frame it as a rule. It's like, hey, I don't, um, you know, I, I don't talk about this subject, uh, with people who aren't part of my family. Nothing personal. You know? And then it's like, then things become very clear.

AI assessment note: “I think tactically speaking, it's, it's always great to frame things like rules.”

Q And I don't know, you're the expert in this. Like, what is happening? Is that bad? Should people be using ChatGPT as a therapist? What is your thought? And then I want to talk to you about your counterpoint to it.

A Deeply concerned as well. Um, you know, I started noticing in my life, uh, same thing. Bunch of friends, family members started using Chat Sheet PT as a therapist. I went, this is maybe a year, year and a half ago, I went and started experimenting with it, you know, kind of running some life problems through it, seeing how it responded. And I'll, I'll say this. It's like, it's very uneven. Like, you get, there's some things that it's much better at than, say, your average therapist, uh, and then some things it's much worse at. So the thing you pointed out is what it's much worse at. It just validates. It doesn't think critically. It doesn't challenge you. It doesn't, it, it, it just, it wants you to feel happy. It kisses your ass way too much. The thing that it's good at is, it is, in its data set, is the entire wealth of knowledge, the entire field of psychology, essentially. Every research paper is in there. Every finding is in there. Every branch of the, the topic is in there. All, like, there's, I think there's, um, over 3000 hours worth of therapy transcripts, like, in the foundational model. So, If you get it away from, if it, if you approach it with any problem that's not about validating your feelings, Like, if you actually ask it for some sort of tangible feedback or advice on a more specific problem, it will actually be extremely well informed on the research in that …

AI assessment note: “Deeply concerned as well. Um, you know, I started noticing in my life”

Q Oh, that's such a good one. Okay, last one for you. You've also tweeted, the person you marry is the person you fight with. The house you buy is the house you repair. The dream job you take is the job you stress over. Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice. Whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What do you mean?

A You can't, you can't escape the bullshit. You can't, you can't escape it. It's, uh, no matter where you go, uh, there's gonna be some bullshit. So you, you just need to make sure that it's the bullshit you like having. It's, it's the problems you are, are grateful that you have in your life. Um, again, I think people They think about the benefits and the successes that they want. That's actually a very easy and uninteresting question. Everybody generally wants, like, everybody wants money. Everybody wants a great partner. Everybody wants to be liked and popular and, you know, all these things. Um, the question is, is like, what pain do you want? Like, what are you willing to give up? What struggles are you actually kind of okay having? Like what challenges do you seem to do better with than most people? Like those are, that's actually where you get into who somebody is and like what makes you unique as an individual and what is ultimately going to serve you best as you move through life.

AI assessment note: “You can't escape the bullshit. You can't, you can't escape it.”

Q And do you think this is, like, a global phenomenon? Like, you went to and spent time in the happiest country in the world, right? What, what did you find? Like, what do the happiest people in the world have? Or was it something totally else you found there?

A Well, the funny thing, so the happiest, technically the happiness, happiest country in the world is Finland. And, uh, the, uh, if you talk to the Finnish, they're like, what? Really? And, and the conclusion I came to is that, uh, I think Um, Finnish culture has this, this, they, they have this ethos of kind of low expectations, which is very opposite of how Americans are. Um, but there's this, this sense of just being satisfied very easily. Like it's, it's kind of a good thing to be satisfied. Um, and I think that there's some wisdom in that, right? Like it's, This isn't to say that you shouldn't chase things, or you shouldn't have goals, or dreams, or whatever, but it's, it's also, like, have those goals and dreams, but also while understanding that they're not gonna solve anything. Like, it's a fun game you're playing. Chase after that ten-year goal. Hopefully you achieve it. That's great, but just understand that, like, once you get on the other side of achieving it, you're still gonna be the same stressed, anxious person who Has problems and gets in fights with his mother, and like, it's like, it's all the, you're gonna be the same person with the same shit going on. So, um, you need to, like, ultimately find something that's, that's worth, uh, that's worth the struggle. It feels like it makes the struggle worth it.

AI assessment note: “Finnish culture has this, this, they, they have this ethos of kind of low expectations”

Q Like, maybe you could talk about one of the times that you Walked in a chicken costume down Venice Boulevard, which I remember, and why? Because you put yourself through the experiment first, right?

A Yeah, yeah. One of the things I, I've always believed very strongly, like, I, I've never, never wanted to be the guy on stage, like, telling, this is what you should do. These are the five things that are gonna change your life. I've always liked the idea of, of, like, I'm in the trend, I'm in the shit and the muck with everybody else, you know, I, I go through this stuff, too. So in the videos, I do the same. I, I, I, Basically took fans with various anxieties or personal issues and, uh, and kind of ran them through a gauntlet of different challenges or having them face their fears and whatnot. Um, but I made myself do it too, and it's, it was a good exercise, right? It's like one is just I should be able to walk the walk of, of what I say, uh, but it's, it's also, I think it comes back to, like, building that, you can call it scar tissue, or you can call it the muscle, but it's basically, it's like that accumulation of failures, embarrassments, etc. Um, it, and it's funny, because doing that series of videos, by the time we got towards the end, like, I, I honestly reached a point where I'm like, I don't think there's anything at this point that could embarrass me. Like, or scare me.

AI assessment note: “I should be able to walk the walk of, of what I say”