The Exchanges

Q But man, if you can prioritize what you got, it's really important. So what, one other question on marriage before we go into more business stuff is, what is the secret then to having an incredible marriage?

A You know, when, when people ask me that, I think what comes to mind, and I don't know if this is the best secret, I'm just going to give it, is you can't keep score. Keeping score ruins relationships. It ruins partnerships too. Right. Like if I was looking at a partnership, I've watched so many times through the years. Why is everybody so like attracted to opening up a restaurant? I, I never knew that. You hardly find a restaurant that makes money, but everybody wants one. Maybe it's the significance or the, I don't know, but I've watched forever. Picture a great chef, right? I'm 56. So I've been on this earth for awhile. I've been to restaurants and I've watched the chef in the background where the food is amazing and somebody convinces them. Hey, Why would you just be a chef? Let's start the new restaurant. I'll put up the money. I've had friends do this. They put up the money, they get a great chef, they come up with a great concept, and they launch the business. At first, the marriage is amazing. The relation, the business marriage is really great cook, didn't have the money, money, know how to run a business, but then all of a sudden, the chef's back there, 70 hours a week, not seeing his family, And the partner who put the money in hasn't changed. Same person. He comes in with his friends. Rounded drinks for everybody. And, uh, the score keeping starts. I'm back here slav…

AI assessment note: “you can't keep score. Keeping score ruins relationships.”

Q Because it's the truth, and what would you rather do? Do you want to feel right and virtuous, or do you want to win and actually make massive impact? And I think more people should want to make an impact and win than signal that they are somehow a good person through non-action. What does it take to make a hundred million dollars? Is it just more of the same?

A No, I think I said it earlier, but every level has a new devil, right? And, and you and I have had conversations about this. The thing that got you out of, like, like the thing that gets you out of Egypt doesn't take you to the promised land. So you can, as a, as a rugged individualist, I heard that term, so I'm kind of just utilizing it, but like as that driver that has a core competency, good at finding businesses, good at making things happen, that takes you to a certain level. And then there's this phase where Your business skyrocketed here. And I'm just going to share this with everybody. This is the part when it skyrockets and right at that edge, whether it's 10,000,020 1,000,030 million, you think you're going to crack because you're doing all of it. I'm on the road, like using example, I'm doing the podcast. I'm on the road. I'm the one on social media. I'm the one that's making the decision. I'm the one closing the deals. Oh my God. I don't even know if this is worth it. I'm about ready to crack. When you start hearing people say, I wish I had a twin. I wish I had the perfect operator. I wish I could hire the CEO that takes all this off my plate. That is the time that you need to obsess on leadership skills. That is the time where you have to learn how to bring in the right generals and how to get a team behind you and alongside of you where you collectively, there's, …

AI assessment note: “there's no way to go from 10, 20, 30 to a hundred without a team”

Q to talk about how do you have a marriage that you actually like, or maybe an incredible marriage. And we're also going to talk about what does it take to win? In all aspects of your life, but certainly if you care about business at all. Without further ado, let's go to Dean. You've said before that one of the biggest business hacks is a happy marriage. Is that true?

A I think it's a, a, a hack on, on everything, and I can only go through two experiences. One, I've been in a marriage that failed, and I take full responsibility for probably being the majority of the reason it didn't work. And when you're in something like that, when you're in a relationship that's not empowering, not fulfilling, right, and again, not blaming the other person, but it's not, you don't even realize how much of a drain that is, that when you wake up and it's on your mind, you wake up and you realize maybe there's not intimacy, or maybe there's not connection in your life, but it doesn't matter. I could power through with business. I'm so strong with business. I, I just got this, right? But I'm blessed to see, I can only talk through experiences. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm really fortunate to see the other side of that. You know, when my relationship ended, and there was a gap, I had two children, and I'm like, and I won't go too deep in this, but the fact of the matter is, I just said, I'm gonna be a single dad. I'm going deep on dadding, on fatherhood, and when they're off to college, I'll consider a relationship. But I remember, I was with my partner and friend Tony, and he's like, but if you were gonna get in a relationship, what if you just wrote down, All the things that would be an absolute must in a relationship and all the things that were unacceptable in a relatio…

AI assessment note: “I think it's a, a, a hack on, on everything”

Q thing once, and so they're trying to get this whole universe of people to buy one thing from them once. A lot of successful companies, they get one customer and they want to serve them for life, which is what you obsess about. Can you talk about how To get customers for life, and how you can get them to say thank you for offering them the next step continuously?

A Yeah, great question. So maybe, maybe I could use it through the lens of a live event. Just cause it, it, it'd be the same model of any company. So, what I love to think about is the end in mind. And at the end, I, I ask myself three questions. Who's my ideal client? Right? What is their ideal outcome when they use our product? And what product would supply that? I know it sounds like does, not what everybody does. Not really, just think, like for example, If Tony, if somebody's gonna work with Tony and I, and we're gonna teach them how to create a workshop, or a mastermind, or create a course, or write a book, at the end result, who I love working with, is people really hungry, they're just not sure what to do. I don't want people that have bought and sold, bought a million courses on how to get rich for doing nothing, because I can't serve them. I don't want people that, that don't want to do the work, they just want the outcome, because They're never going to, they're never going to be an ideal client for me. So if I know our ideal client is someone who is hungry as heck, they're brilliant without a blueprint. Let's say that, right? They know they want to do something different. They're unfulfilled in their current business or their current career. They want to do something different. They're hungry. They're willing to do the work. Cool. Ideal client. Love you. Number two is…

AI assessment note: “I ask myself three questions. Who's my ideal client? Right? What is their ideal outcome”

Q How do you know when to pull the exit chute? How do you know when somebody is taking advantage of you, and you are giving too much?

A You know, I think You know, in the beginning of a business relationship, or, or, you know, my first date and Chris, right, everything is wonderful. Right or wrong. There's not enough, you can't do enough for that person. Well, like if they have a seed in their tooth, like, oh, it's so cute, and then if it doesn't, like, if you're not feeling that way in a year, it's like, why do you always have freaking seeds in your tooth, right? It's like, same thing, different experience. What I always thought about is, what if you're in a relationship, you're not sure, like, should this be over? Business or personal? And you just treat it the next 90 days like the first 90 days. You were a little more respectful. You actually did active listening, looking in your significant other's eyes. What did you have to say? What was your day like? What if you did all the things, like when you were thinking about, you know, the first time you were going to hold hands or kiss, you're like, I'll listen for four hours if I get the kiss. Like, you know, then you're like, what are you saying, babe? Could you just spit it out? Like, you know, all these things evolve, right?

AI assessment note: “just treat it the next 90 days like the first 90 days”

Q think, when you're trying to have big success, we all have people, friends, sometimes family, loved ones, who say, You can't. You know, why would you do that? Who, like, don't want you to go grow when you are about to have what you think might be a huge breakthrough. So what do you do to not let other people hold you back from the things you want in life?

A So I give little reference points, like little things in my head that I can remember, and this one is don't dim your glow. Without realizing, sometimes we have people in our life that think we're a dreamer, which most people do. Entrepreneurship is a lonely road. Wait, being a dad of four, there's nothing worse than going to a five-year-old birthday party where you don't know one other parent. You don't know, and, and you gotta have conversations with people that, this is gonna sound horrible, like, maybe this is rude to say, but like, they're just, it's a different path to be career-oriented than to be the crazy person that puts your life on the line, puts your money on the line, puts your family on the line, you risk everything, you go up and down, all the stuff that happens in the invisible, it's just a different philosophy, right?

AI assessment note: “this one is don't dim your glow. Without realizing, sometimes we have people”