The Exchanges

Q What about Leaving a community, you know, so there's a lot of people here who manage communities. We're listening to this, we manage communities or even just manage audiences. Um, what do you do when you're starting to feel a little burnt out and you need to take a step back?

A Yeah. So I guess like the, the challenge with the community is you feel like you don't want to let the community down. Um, maybe you'll feel like the community will suffer if you're kind of the active leader of it and you're going to step away or, or you might feel like you're going to lose trust. I think that's something that a lot of community people struggle with is like, I can't leave my community. Mike, what are, what will my community members think? Um, if I'm not even willing to show up, then how can I ask them to show up? Right. Um, and those are all valid feelings, and I've experienced them. Um, I think, for one, it's, it's all the more reason to be building up a team around you and a more sustainable system. If your community revolves all around you, that's probably a red flag to begin with, that, um, it's very, uh, it's overly centered on, on one person, and you're not creating more of a distributed sense of connection and responsibility and leadership. So I think you have an opportunity there to make your community something that can and should live on without you. Two, I think, like, you're human, and communities will always gravitate towards leaders who are human and honest and direct, and so if you tell your community that you've put your heart and soul and blood, sweat, and tears into this community, and you're starting to feel burned out, and that you're gonna …

AI assessment note: “tell your community that... you're starting to feel burned out”

Q If that person, uh, you know, was giving you advice on what to do, what do you think they would say? Okay. So to start, one of my favorites, and I know one of your favorites, Seth Godin. If Seth Godin was sitting here and he was giving you advice on what you should do, what is the one thing you should do, what do you think he would say?

A It would be very short and poetic. I think, I think he would say, um, something along the lines of Do what's, do what's in your heart. Do the thing that you can do in a way that no one else can do it. I think he's always been very much about, um, finding the uniqueness in yourself and that one thing or voice or message that you can bring to your work, to the world, to marketing copy to anything, um, that, that, uh, Comes from your unique story and your experience and no one else can do. And like, you can only find that by going inward. You can't find that by like looking for the best market opportunity or trying to make money. You can only do that by kind of looking within yourself. That's what I think Seth would tell me.

AI assessment note: “Do the thing that you can do in a way that no one else can”

Q I love that. Go, go inward and, and, you know, keep going. Uh, number two, our, uh, our friend Ryan Hoover. What would Ryan say?

A Um, I think Ryan would be a little bit of the opposite of Seth. I think Ryan's a very pragmatic business mind, uh, who would kind of see the opportunities in kind of like business, uh, community-based businesses that's growing. Um, you know, he and I have talked in the past about doing like a course together or, um, Um, you know, I talked to him recently about, um, one thing I thought about is doing a sort of fund for community, so being able to invest in, uh, community-based companies and community-based software, um, and he obviously knows a thing or two about that, um, so I think he, he's someone who just, like, sees real, he, he is such a good finger on the pulse of tech and products and Kind of the zeitgeist of, of business, and I think he would, he would spend a lot of time helping find, like, where things are going and what I can build to, to put myself in the right position to catch that momentum.

AI assessment note: “I think Ryan would be a little bit of the opposite of Seth.”

Q remember, you were just getting it started, um, starting to see some traction. Um, and you were doing it at a time where a lot of your peers and friends were doing like these big venture back things and you were doing like more of a bootstrap thing and community, which was like, not very, you know, attractive at the time. Um, yeah. What would he say to, to you?

A Hmm. That's a really good one. I think he would say to look for opportunities for In places that you, that you, that you love, that you have a passion for, but you, you feel like it's too small, or there isn't a big enough business opportunity. So I, the reason, where I'm going with this is like, when I, when I started CMX, um, I did not intend for it to be my full-time thing. Um, uh, it was my buddy, Max Altshuler, um, Um, and I started together. I had told him about the idea for the conference, um, over the years before that we got to know each other. And he was like, in, in, in 2014, that's when he was like, Hey, do you want to do this? I know how to run a conference. I'll handle logistics and you lead speakers and kind of the brand and everything. And so we did it. I was still running. Um, I was, I co-founded a company called feast with my good friend, Nadia, um, who I think, you know, as well. Um, and We were still doing that at the time and see, frankly, wasn't going that well. And, um, money was getting tighter and tighter. And so CMX was in part a way to like bring in some extra income. It was an idea that I've had that I was talking about for a long time, but never pulled the trigger on. And, and part of the reason was I never saw community as Like, this is the thing that's gonna be my big break as an entrepreneur. Um, and at that time, I was definitely more focused th…

AI assessment note: “I think he would say to look for opportunities for In places that you, that you, that you love”

Q No, but, uh, I hear it. I tell you, it's like one of those must reads, right?

A You should read it. Yeah. It's, it's incredible. Um, Shane, Shane Mack was who introduced me to Lieutenant David Marquet originally, and he's amazing. He's just like the kindest person. I got to go down actually for three or four days and spend time with him in his house, um, down in Florida, like lives right on the ocean. And we just like riffed on business and community and leadership. Um, and just like hung out. It was, it was really, it was special. And that was like, we barely knew each other. And he just like invited me down to do that. And he's like that kind of person. Um, and, um, what would he tell me? Um, I, I, I think David just like, uh, he's a true person. True-blooded leader. It just, it kind of just flows through him, and you'll see, if you see him speak, if he interacts with people, he's just somebody who exudes leadership and thoughtfulness. He's like, very likable, um, very inspirational. So, you know, I think, and I think what he knows best is he's, he's, uh, you know, become this great author and speaker, and that's what he does for a living now since he was, you know, I retired from being a nuclear submarine captain, so a little different. So he'd probably tell me, he'd probably advise me on that path, um, to continue to grow as a leader, um, for community builders to speak, maybe write another book, um, and understand, you know, he's, he's done the whole …

AI assessment note: “You should read it. Yeah. It's, it's incredible.”

Q Taking a year off is like goals for a lot of people, but for people who don't have a year to take off, like, how do you, how do you take off some time, recognize that you're burned out and then deal with it? And yeah. What, what, what advice do you have there?

A I mean, yeah, like from a financial perspective, I understand not everyone can take that time off. You know, my wife and I saved a lot of money, um, over our career. And so, you know, we just are using our savings. My wife took the last year off as well. So we kind of did a sabbatical together, moved across the country, had another baby. So there's like a lot of other factors in there for us. Um, of course, like anything you can do to step Back and create space is always going to be good for you. And if you can't do a year, but you can only do a week, do a week. Um, I would say that for most people, you can take more time off than you probably think you can. I think a lot of people say like, I can't take even a day off. I can't take a week off. Like there's too much to do. You can, you can, you'll be fine. Um, especially if you're in a company that has vacation time, like take it. If you have unlimited vacation time, great. Take unlimited vacation. You know, put it, put it to use and, and things will not fall apart, even though you think they will. Um, right? Like a big, a big thing that, you know, I was struggling with was this was my baby. It was my company, CMX, and a team that I love to work with. And I was like, you know, what's going to happen to the company after I leave? And you know, there, there's, there's like a lot of ego in that, right? To, to think that, um, it's …

AI assessment note: “if you can't do a year, but you can only do a week, do a week”