Stutman: Embed feedback inside 'how' questions to completely bypass defensiveness
Randall Stutman · Randall Stutman – Giving Feedback, Followership, and Admired Leadership (EP.497) · Apr 13, 2026 · at 37:12
Executive leadership coach Randall Stutman explains to Ted Seides how admired leaders deliver constructive criticism without triggering defensive arguments.
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“A how question, if it's done and carries feedback, actually embeds the feedback inside the question. When I say to you, Ted, how are you going to upgrade the talent on your team? The feedback is that your team talent needs to be upgraded. But I don't say that. Instead, I simply ask a how question. The feedback is already embedded in the question itself. No resistance, no conversation. As soon as you start to answer, you subscribe to my feedback.”
quote is from the automated transcript, cleaned for reading: filler sounds and stutters are removed, nothing is rephrased. names can be misheard (the analysis reads context, assessments check outside sources). how →
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