Kenneth Berger, executive coach and Slack's first product manager, explains the psychological mistake of over-accepting rejection when asking for what you want.
“The no is just from this person right now in the way that you asked. Which doesn't necessarily mean anything about the next time you ask to a different person in a different way in a different time.”
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Kenneth BergerMay 19, 2024▶ 34:36Why not asking for what you want is holding you back | Kenneth Berger (exec coach, first PM @Slack)
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Berger: Fear-driven motivation is dysfunctional for modern knowledge work
“Fear is for when there's a tiger chasing you and there's no tiger chasing me. I'm sitting in my office in a desk chair on a zoom call, right? Like there's no real danger here. And so fear is not particularly functional.”
Kenneth BergerMay 19, 2024▶ 1:03:17Why not asking for what you want is holding you back | Kenneth Berger (exec coach, first PM @Slack)
Insight
Berger: Pure discipline is merely a short-term coping strategy
“It's not that discipline doesn't work, right? But it's like people pleasing. It's a short term it's a short term coping strategy. Like discipline will get you in the gym for a week, but it's not going to get you in the gym for a year, right? The people who are…”
Kenneth BergerMay 19, 2024▶ 1:04:29Why not asking for what you want is holding you back | Kenneth Berger (exec coach, first PM @Slack)
Insight
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“And I think to me, the flip side of that is, is sort of the reason that the stakes around asking for what you want are so high because yeah, you know, if you're, we can't guarantee we're going to get what we want, but if we're asking for it regularly, if we're…”
Kenneth BergerMay 19, 2024▶ 5:49Why not asking for what you want is holding you back | Kenneth Berger (exec coach, first PM @Slack)
Insight
Berger: Entering meetings convinced you are right is fundamentally disrespectful
“It's fundamentally disrespectful to go into a meeting already deciding that you're right and the other person is wrong, right? Because you can't know that for sure, right? There's always a new perspective, new data that could come in. And so you want that conv…”
Kenneth BergerMay 19, 2024▶ 8:51Why not asking for what you want is holding you back | Kenneth Berger (exec coach, first PM @Slack)
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