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Jan 2, 2019 · 15m · a16z

a16z Podcast | Truth and Humanity in Leadership

Lars Dalgaard · 10m spoken Bethany Coates · 2m spoken Michael Copeland · 32s spoken
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In this episode of the a16z Podcast recorded at a BreakLine event, Andreessen Horowitz partner Lars Dahlgaard shares insights with military veterans on leveraging non-technical leadership, delivering direct feedback, and establishing authentic trust in high-stakes corporate environments.

How this conversation actually went

Every chapter scored 0–10 on four independent dynamics. Hover any point for the reasoning behind the score. How this is scored →

The host as informed peer 2.0 Guest teaching 3.8 Guest disagreement 1.3 The host pushing back 1.5
05100:0010:000:34–4:08 · The host as informed peer 2/10 Entering the Tech Industry as a Non-Technologist Bethany Coates introduces Lars Dalgaard and sets up a broad question about transitioning into tech without a technical background. Dalgaard uses the prompt to explain how leadership in Silicon Valley often fails when leaders avoid hard conversations.4:08–6:27 · The host as informed peer 3/10 Interviewing, Emotional Contracts, and Human Connection Coates demonstrates preparation by bringing up Dalgaard's specific New York Times interview quote and his reputation as 'the closer'. Dalgaard explains how he uses personal questions in interviews to establish emotional contracts.6:27–13:23 · The host as informed peer 1/10 Overcoming Rejection and Pitching Leadership Coates asks about overcoming rejection, and Dalgaard immediately redirects the topic to practical interview advice for the military veterans present before opening the floor to audience questions. He recounts his early executive career at Unilever to illustrate leadership and unit economics.13:23–15:19 · The host as informed peer 2/10 Q&A: Family Values and Embracing Uncomfortable Truths Coates follows up directly on where Dalgaard gets his insight into humanity, pressing him again when his initial answer centers on his parents. Dalgaard opens up about leaning into emotional vulnerability and hard truths in business.0:34–4:08 · Guest teaching 4/10 Entering the Tech Industry as a Non-Technologist Bethany Coates introduces Lars Dalgaard and sets up a broad question about transitioning into tech without a technical background. Dalgaard uses the prompt to explain how leadership in Silicon Valley often fails when leaders avoid hard conversations.4:08–6:27 · Guest teaching 3/10 Interviewing, Emotional Contracts, and Human Connection Coates demonstrates preparation by bringing up Dalgaard's specific New York Times interview quote and his reputation as 'the closer'. Dalgaard explains how he uses personal questions in interviews to establish emotional contracts.6:27–13:23 · Guest teaching 5/10 Overcoming Rejection and Pitching Leadership Coates asks about overcoming rejection, and Dalgaard immediately redirects the topic to practical interview advice for the military veterans present before opening the floor to audience questions. He recounts his early executive career at Unilever to illustrate leadership and unit economics.13:23–15:19 · Guest teaching 3/10 Q&A: Family Values and Embracing Uncomfortable Truths Coates follows up directly on where Dalgaard gets his insight into humanity, pressing him again when his initial answer centers on his parents. Dalgaard opens up about leaning into emotional vulnerability and hard truths in business.0:34–4:08 · Guest disagreement 1/10 Entering the Tech Industry as a Non-Technologist Bethany Coates introduces Lars Dalgaard and sets up a broad question about transitioning into tech without a technical background. Dalgaard uses the prompt to explain how leadership in Silicon Valley often fails when leaders avoid hard conversations.4:08–6:27 · Guest disagreement 1/10 Interviewing, Emotional Contracts, and Human Connection Coates demonstrates preparation by bringing up Dalgaard's specific New York Times interview quote and his reputation as 'the closer'. Dalgaard explains how he uses personal questions in interviews to establish emotional contracts.6:27–13:23 · Guest disagreement 2/10 Overcoming Rejection and Pitching Leadership Coates asks about overcoming rejection, and Dalgaard immediately redirects the topic to practical interview advice for the military veterans present before opening the floor to audience questions. He recounts his early executive career at Unilever to illustrate leadership and unit economics.13:23–15:19 · Guest disagreement 1/10 Q&A: Family Values and Embracing Uncomfortable Truths Coates follows up directly on where Dalgaard gets his insight into humanity, pressing him again when his initial answer centers on his parents. Dalgaard opens up about leaning into emotional vulnerability and hard truths in business.0:34–4:08 · The host pushing back 1/10 Entering the Tech Industry as a Non-Technologist Bethany Coates introduces Lars Dalgaard and sets up a broad question about transitioning into tech without a technical background. Dalgaard uses the prompt to explain how leadership in Silicon Valley often fails when leaders avoid hard conversations.4:08–6:27 · The host pushing back 1/10 Interviewing, Emotional Contracts, and Human Connection Coates demonstrates preparation by bringing up Dalgaard's specific New York Times interview quote and his reputation as 'the closer'. Dalgaard explains how he uses personal questions in interviews to establish emotional contracts.6:27–13:23 · The host pushing back 1/10 Overcoming Rejection and Pitching Leadership Coates asks about overcoming rejection, and Dalgaard immediately redirects the topic to practical interview advice for the military veterans present before opening the floor to audience questions. He recounts his early executive career at Unilever to illustrate leadership and unit economics.13:23–15:19 · The host pushing back 3/10 Q&A: Family Values and Embracing Uncomfortable Truths Coates follows up directly on where Dalgaard gets his insight into humanity, pressing him again when his initial answer centers on his parents. Dalgaard opens up about leaning into emotional vulnerability and hard truths in business.

speaking balance: gold is the host, purple is the guest (3 minute bins)

0:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%0:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%3:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%3:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%6:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%6:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%9:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%9:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%12:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%12:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%15:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%15:00 · the host 0% · guest 100%
Sharpest disagreement ▶ 6:54 Rejecting submissive interview mindsets

Dalgaard forcefully criticizes candidates who act apologetic or deferential during interviews, instructing veterans to reject passivity and own their expertise.

 Hardest push from the host ▶ 14:07 Pressing beyond surface-level answers

Coates refuses to let Dalgaard off with a standard response about his parents, re-asking her question directly to get deeper clarity on his internal process.

 Biggest teaching moment ▶ 2:40 Critique of tech management shortcomings

Dalgaard educates the host and room on how Silicon Valley managers lack the intestinal fortitude for tough conversations, contrasting tech's avoidance culture with military discipline.

 The host holds their own ▶ 4:50 Citing specific past press interview details

Coates demonstrates deep host preparation by bringing up specific quotes from Dalgaard's New York Times interview regarding how he questions candidates.
the scores for every segment, with the reasoning behind each
ChapterTopicThe host as informed peerGuest teachingGuest disagreementThe host pushing backWhy
Entering the Tech Industry as a Non-Technologist 2411 Bethany Coates introduces Lars Dalgaard and sets up a broad question about transitioning into tech without a technical background. Dalgaard uses the prompt to explain how leadership in Silicon Valley often fails when leaders avoid hard conversations.
Interviewing, Emotional Contracts, and Human Connection 3311 Coates demonstrates preparation by bringing up Dalgaard's specific New York Times interview quote and his reputation as 'the closer'. Dalgaard explains how he uses personal questions in interviews to establish emotional contracts.
Overcoming Rejection and Pitching Leadership 1521 Coates asks about overcoming rejection, and Dalgaard immediately redirects the topic to practical interview advice for the military veterans present before opening the floor to audience questions. He recounts his early executive career at Unilever to illustrate leadership and unit economics.
Q&A: Family Values and Embracing Uncomfortable Truths 2313 Coates follows up directly on where Dalgaard gets his insight into humanity, pressing him again when his initial answer centers on his parents. Dalgaard opens up about leaning into emotional vulnerability and hard truths in business.

Statements from this episode (7)

Insight
Dalgaard: Silicon Valley leaders fear direct conversations about employee failure
“One of the biggest issues I run into in tech companies, no matter how big they are, how successful or how they're great they are, is there's no time for not having a real conversation about this is how you fucked up and this is not going to work. Let's figure …”
Lars Dalgaard Jan 2, 2019 ▶ 3:01
Insight
Dalgaard: Initial interviews set permanent emotional contracts with employees
“I think it's like 90% more important, that first interview, because you create an emotional contract with that person forever.”
Lars Dalgaard Jan 2, 2019 ▶ 4:26
Insight
Dalgaard: Wait 20 minutes into interviews before asking deep personal questions
“I don't ask it in the first minute, because then it's useless. I ask it like, 20 minutes in. Because you've built some rapport and they know who you are and how real you are.”
Lars Dalgaard Jan 2, 2019 ▶ 4:58
Assertion Not checkable as stated
Dalgaard was rejected by 73 VCs when raising funding for SuccessFactors
“73.”
Lars Dalgaard Jan 2, 2019 ▶ 6:38
Insight
Dalgaard: Non-technical applicants should lead with leadership confidence, not apologies
“I would never be apologetic in an interview around, you know, like, I'm not a tech person, I'm not, like, I can just see it, because I've interviewed a bunch of people that had your background, and I saw some, you know, apologies, and then also this sort of li…”
Lars Dalgaard Jan 2, 2019 ▶ 7:26
Assertion Partly supported
Lars Dalgaard became Unilever's youngest division CEO at age 26
“It was the third largest company in the world. They had 320,000 employees, and I was the youngest CEO at 26 there by 13 years.”
Lars Dalgaard Jan 2, 2019 ▶ 10:24
Insight
Dalgaard: Showing raw vulnerability forces CEOs to reciprocate authenticity
“And it's like we've trained ourselves to stay the fuck away from that place, but I go straight where it hurts the most, and I talk about that. And it never fails. All these CEOs, they're very, very successful, they're running public companies, they look in the…”
Lars Dalgaard Jan 2, 2019 ▶ 14:42
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